...you should probably turn and run too... cause somethings probably wrong!!
In fact.. I'm actually very lucky to have a treadmill at home. because if I was at the gym, people would probably be videoing me and sending it to America's Funniest Home Videos!!
(is that still a thing?)
Not because I look funny (well, maybe I do) but because I put my headphones in, and practically have a Zumba session on the mill while walking! :D
On that note.. I'd love new song ideas for my "iii i workout" playlist.. So if you got anything you love to listen to, that's mostly upbeat, dance type music, I'll consider it! :)
"You cant stop lookin at me, staring at me, be what I be..
(p.s.- I just spend 20mins watching California Cow videos. its good for the soul!)
Thanks to those of you for the cauliflower ideas from the last blog.. we're going to give it another shot or two.. tonight we're going to roast cauli and broccoli in the oven with our beef patties. we'll see how it goes!! The broccoli is a buffer... in case the cauliflower is still dissatisfying! :)
My brother and sister in law offered us their stationary bike. I'm SOOOO excited for that. We're going to have our own home gym in no time! kidding.. but still SO excited. it'll give me a little variation of something to do other than the mill... (I love the mill, don't get me wrong.. I'd rather do that, then a lot of other things, haha)
I read something, that said its good to focus on the now, present, and current things in life and situations... and not to get caught up in goals and the future.. (I'm guessing because of the pressure it puts on you) and yes, that is good.. but I also feel that sometimes without goals and things you are aspiring to reach and be, you might get lost in what you are now.
I feel like for far too long, I've become stationary. I've let the days go by, and not done anything to help myself, because.. tomorrow is another day.. it'll come. it'll go.... and I'll still be the in the same position I am now... and I feel like that's kind of a way you get when you are facing depression..... let me just get through this.
If I can just get through today, tomorrow will come and things will be better.
but they aren't.
They aren't better, because I'm not better......
But now that I'm spending time working on myself, and who I am in my relationship with my husband, family, friends, and in general.. I'm much happier. I know sometimes it doesn't show.. or I still get lost in my resting bitch face (RBF), but I truly am becoming happier.
I like deciding dinner plans with my husband.. even if its nothing more exciting then me cooking up chicken stir-fry! (which I did.. and was good, btw!) I feel a little victorious when I submit my tracking for the day and I'm under my goal! I like seeing the numbers go down on the scale and get a little sad when they don't move. I know that sometimes its not about the number on the scale moving but how you as a person feel.. but it sure is a nice thing to physically see.
I like grocery shopping with my husband! Even if we only got 2 stupid Monopoly pieces yesterday. UGH! I told him I was going to push the lady in front of us down outside, and steal her pieces. SHE GOT A BUNCH!!!!!!
-but I didn't. because its wrong... oh, and he looked at me like I was crazy. and I probably am.

I like going to a restaurant and actually thinking about what I'm ordering... even if I still get one of the worst things on the menu in the end, I know that its just one meal, and I'll get back on track. I'm not letting it get in my head that I'm done for!!!! and, since I exercised that day, I feel much better about having a "cheat" meal, so to speak....
Writing has truly helped me. Even if I'm babbling or it becomes uninteresting to read, it really is helping me center my thoughts. Popping my headphones in, becoming a keyboard warrior and getting it all out there.. it is making me feel a little more accomplished and helping me have something to look back at! and.. its when I get quiet that I'm most likely slipping back down the rabbit hole... because this keeps me accountable. You guys keep me accountable. Knowing people are following my journey and touching base with me, and reading this... THIS keeps me accountable. I'm doing it for myself.. but it gives me a little fuel, and a little push.
Shout out to my amazing husband (Corey) who is on this journey with me... for losing 40lbs so far!!! I'm so proud of you!
and so lucky to call you mine!
25lbs down..
and #selfieoritdidnthappen is still in FULL effect to my brother every day!
(they are just REALLY unflattering pictures.) bahahaha
:)
love to all
larissa
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