Sometimes Later- Becomes Never

 

 

I didn't have a lot of time to write yesterday, as I was cramming it in before I got ready for work.. I just needed it to get out there, and be held accountable. Its really hard to better yourself. It is terribly hard to commit to changing your daily habits, even though I know how terribly important it is.

 

I stopped drinking pop on the 2nd of January.. I haven't had it but once this year. I try to drink between 2-4 liters of water a day, but its really hard when I sit all day, cause I constantly have to use the bathroom!! bahahaha. Corey got us started on these smoothies in the AM's, so I usually have that with a granola bar for breakfast. Then it gets difficult for the rest of the day! I've definitely found a better appreciation for zucchini, asparagus, and squash.. however its AMAZING how fast your calories add up.

 

I definitely need to get back into the gym.. Its really hard now that my schedule has changed. I cant go in the AM, cause I'm up at 4 for work... and I should definitely go in the afternoon, but I'm so tired by the time 3 rolls around. I just need to DO it. That's the hardest part. DOING it. I got my bag INto the car.. I just haven't taken it OUT of the car!

 

Another difficult thing is, I'm not a good cook. Its very hard for me to come up with things to eat, that aren't just a bowl of spaghetti o's! I've tried to make simple things that are low calorie, but it can be so time consuming when its just me 4 nights out of the week.

 

I've tried to get into salad. Sometimes I enjoy it. Other times I don't feel like it.

 

 

 

At the end of the day, I'm trying. I think more about the things that go into my mouth.. I think more about how much I eat. Sometimes I fix the situation, other times I just feel guilty about it, and eat it anyway... I need to break the guilt feeling. I need to know that I can have something if I want it, I just need to have it in moderation. I need to remember that I'm not doing this for anyone but myself. And that I need to do it, to life a healthier life.

 

 

17lbs down.. 110lbs-ish to go. I'll get there. All in good time. I'll get there.!

 

 

Back At It...

     Its been a rough last couple years, with everything our family has been going through. I don't mean to make excuses, but enduring the hardships of what my mom experienced, I tended to take it out on food. It was the consistent in life. Anyone and everyone who knows me, knows I've battled my weight my entire life. Except when I was about 5... I looked good then. Its no secret that I've always been overweight, and its no secret that I put on a VERY brave face to try and hide the fact that I'm VERY insecure about it. Its not that I don't think that I have a beautiful face, or a very loving heart, but I'm a very sarcastic person as well, and try to be too humorous at times, just to mask the person inside. I love my life. Don't get me wrong by any means. I have an amazing family, a loving boyfriend, his great family, and our outstanding friends. They mean everything to me. But this year- I needed to start doing things for myself.

     At the beginning of this year, 2015, we took it upon ourselves to start changing our habits. Who knew eating better, could help you lose 17ish lbs! So far that's where I'm at. The last few weeks I've kinda just stayed in the same area.... But I've decided to start writing about it again, in the hopes that it'll give me a little push to keep going. It hasn't been easy, but it hasn't been hard. Its a weird middle ground. You want to eat better, but eating bad is so much easier. Its interesting though, that when you start eating better, you sometimes crave that food instead of junk. Its been nice that we don't keep a lot of junk in the house. I know I've got to do this for me, and there's no better time then now to get it done. Just need to keep pushing.

     That is all for now.

 

     love.